Former English leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the illness.
"There's a certain facing the future and hesitating to really process that at the present time," he stated.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's heading. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his immediate welfare, his family and getting ready for when the disease worsens.
"Maybe that's surprise or maybe I handle situations in another way, and once I have the facts, it's more manageable," he stated further.
First Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a set of scans indicated nerves in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't feel sick
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle loss in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I remain capable of accomplishing whatever I want. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Advancement
MND can advance rapidly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a 33% of people within a 365 days and more than half within 24 months of detection, as ingestion and inhalation become harder.
Medical care can only slow deterioration.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's about the sorrow around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Effect
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he mentioned informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, stating: "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was quite devastating," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced licking the moisture off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody explained the focus was staying in the now.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly focused on just embracing and enjoying all aspects now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very lucky that the primary decision I made when I retired from playing was to devote as much period with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those years back."
Player Association
Top-level sportspeople are unevenly influenced by MND, with investigations indicating the prevalence of the condition is up to six times higher than in the wider community.
It is considered that by restricting the air obtainable and producing harm to neural pathways, frequent, intense physical activity can activate the illness in those previously genetically susceptible.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England selections and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his courageous, relentless style to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a practice scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a training equipment and started participating in physical contacts.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the line-out in the decisive phase of play, setting a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing drop kick.
Assistance System
Moody has earlier told Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a couple of other former colleagues about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the broader public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that type of love and acknowledgment that people are available is what's important," he commented.
"Rugby is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it finished now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to label your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the most significant blessings.
"To have done it for so extended a time with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will wish to help in any way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
