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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the comfort zone for daily publications, and we are always mindful regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to find out that an online journalist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal within his residence. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who took the rest room rather too directly, and had to be saved from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers during his peak popularity playing for City, the controversial forward entered a community college to access the restrooms during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach post a quick discussion within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the official to reason with Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Only one option presented itself. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “empty”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably over the past twenty-five years. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are no longer present, while a German now sits in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Live Updates

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Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with strong principles … however all remained silent. We scarcely made eye contact, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with a chilly look. Quiet and watchful” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to oversee the primary team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and distributed some merchandise, I've opted to write and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations on the school grounds with children he anticipated would defeat him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|